So you failed. Now what?
I am no stranger to the pain and embarrassment that comes with screwing up.
From falling 2 points short of passing my 12th grade piano exam (after practicing for freeken months), to being fired - not once, but twice - in my 20s... it's safe to say I have experienced plenty of defeats.
But the crazy thing about failure is, it’s actually NEEDED if you want to really grow.
Played correctly, failure can be the most epic dose of high octane fuel we need to push ourselves to the next level.
In my eyes, the way to grow from failure is to experience it and realize it won’t kill you - giving you the confidence to chance failing again.
The more comfortable we are with failure, the more likely we are to take those life and career changing risks.
So team, here are some hard learned tips to help you experience a failure and push through to your next great success:
1. Tell the Truth and Feel the Pain
Ok, so you really frikin blew it. The last thing you probably want to do is go around telling people that you’re a big failure.
Somehow it feels less painful if you can deflect the blame, right?
Admitting that you screwed up is really, really hard. But ultimately, it is exactly what you need to make failure your fuel.
You have to tell the truth to yourself and actually feel, for a moment, that you are a big stinkin’ failure to be able to process and move past your mistake.
When you own your big bad failure, it gives you the freeing feeling of knowing that you are in charge of not letting it happen again.
2. Put it to Paper
If you’re having trouble processing your failure, try journaling about your experience.
The simple act of putting pen to paper and fully admitting what happened can help you move on and turn that anger and disappointment into fresh determination.
Write out the whole story, including your contribution, until you start to feel the full emotion of the experience.
From there, ask yourself: “What did I learn?” and “what will I do differently next time?”
3. Drive On
A friend once told me, “When something goes wrong, you get twenty-four hours for a pity party to feel super sorry for yourself.
Then it’s time to ask: What are you doing about it?”
In the end, it’s not about the failure, it’s what you do afterwards.
Once you’ve admitted what happened, and you’ve repositioned the failure as a learning experience, it’s time to DO SOMETHING.
This is the part where you take all the humiliation, anger, sadness, and embarrassment, and turn it into your next step that will push you on the path to greatness.
It doesn’t matter how small the step you take forward - just as long as you take one.
Make Failure Your Fuel
In those tough moments when you feel like you’re never going to recover from a failure, remember: